


If You Love Me, Don't Let Go

by aleia



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27377035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleia/pseuds/aleia
Summary: TK wakes up to his parents arguing. They’ve been better about not doing it in front of him since his dad moved out, but they must not realize he’s awake. He keeps his eyes closed.“If you send him away, he’ll think we have a problem with him being with a boy,” his dad says.“So, we tell him that we don’t,” his mom says. “What do you want me to do Owen? I can’t watch him all the time, and he can’t go back to school right away. Do you expect me to take more time off work? Are you going to stay with him? Because he was supposed to be with you this weekend, and he didn’t tell me you were working. You didn’t tell me you were working. And we almost lost him.”“He said that he told you,” his dad says.“Of course, he did! He’s fifteen! You didn’t think that maybe he lied when I didn’t say anything to you about it?”
Relationships: Owen Strand & TK Strand, TK Strand/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70





	If You Love Me, Don't Let Go

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Tunnel Vision](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24845761) by [aleia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleia/pseuds/aleia). 



> I originally wrote this as a prequel for my Surrender!verse stories, but I decided that it doesn't have to go into any specific verse. So it is my headcannon for that verse but it can stand alone. I wanted to get it posted because I wrote this before they even cast TK's mom and well, it's probably going to get jossed.

TK wakes up to his parents arguing. They’ve been better about not doing it in front of him since his dad moved out, but they must not realize he’s awake. He keeps his eyes closed.

“If you send him away, he’ll think we have a problem with him being with a boy,” his dad says.

“So, we tell him that we don’t,” his mom says. “What do you want me to do Owen? I can’t watch him all the time, and he can’t go back to school right away. Do you expect me to take more time off work? Are _you_ going to stay with him? Because he was _supposed_ to be with you this weekend, and he didn’t tell me you were working. _You_ didn’t tell me you were working. And we almost lost him.”

“He said that he told you,” his dad says.

“Of course, he did! He’s fifteen! You didn’t think that maybe he lied when I didn’t say anything to you about it?”

“No. I thought for once I my life you understood.”

“That what? Your job is more important than your son? Do you know how many of your days with him you’ve canceled? Do you want to know? Because I can tell you.”

Of course, she can. TK doesn’t need to open his eyes to know she’s going through her phone and about to start a list.

“I know. You don’t have to tell me.”

“Well, maybe we should compare. How many days have you canceled that you haven’t confirmed with me?”

TK can’t hold in the sob that’s been fighting to come out because he knows what’s going to happen when they start comparing. At least the fighting stops. TK keeps his eyes closed as he hears them coming toward him. His father’s rough fingers wipe the tears off his cheeks.

“Hey. Sorry if we woke you up. You shouldn’t have heard that,” his father says.

“How do you feel? Do you need a nurse?” His mom is always the practical one. TK shakes his head.

“Are you hungry? They said you should try to eat when you wake up,” his dad says.

TK’s not even sure about that answer.

“Maybe. I still feel sick though,” he says.

The nurse gives him crackers and water. His mom gets him soup form the cafeteria. When he starts falling asleep and the nurse says that they should let him, TK doesn’t fight it. If he goes back to sleep, then he doesn’t have to deal with anything.

***

TK knows that eventually he’s going to have to deal with his parents. He’s going to have to deal with them knowing he’s gay and he’s going to have to deal with them knowing he’s been doing drugs. He doesn’t know what they meant about sending him away. Rehab if he’s lucky. Some kind of bootcamp for bad kids if he’s not.

He’s expecting them to at least wait until he’s home a day or two because he still feels like shit. Instead, they sit down next to his bed the day before he’s supposed to go home. He knows instantly that whatever they’ve decided, they already talked about it. He should’ve been suspicious when they let one of his friends visit. They probably did that so that he was occupied while they fought with each other until they could pretend to be a united front of perfect co-parenting. It’s his fault that they had to do that. Because they’ve actually been getting along the last few months. It was at least half of TK’s motivation for not telling his mom when his dad had to work. So much for that.

“We’re giving you two choices,” his mom says. Choices. That wasn’t something he expected. TK nods. He’s not stupid. He’s going to find out as much as he can before he makes things worse by accident. His mother hands him some pages she’s printed out. Rehab. Well, it’s better than bootcamp.

“Tyler, it’s a good program,” his mom says and TK’s too tired to correct her _again_. “They’ll work with your school so that you don’t get behind. You might even have fun. It’s in California. Your father and I will fly out for family counseling when they tell us you’re ready for it. They have surfing and equine therapy.”

“I hate horses,” TK says without thinking. He’s ready for a speech about conquering his fears, but his dad saves him by clearing his throat before she can start. She looks at his dad and sighs. Clearly, she thinks rehab with surfing and horses in California is the answer.

“ _Or_ ,” she says. “Your father will take two weeks off work. In those two weeks, you’ll do an outpatient therapy program here. After two weeks, we’ll see how it’s working. If it’s working, your father will work part-time for another two weeks—while you’re at school only. You’re grounded. No phone. No friends and no boyfriend except for when you’re at school. You’re grounded until we _both_ agree that you’re not. If it doesn’t work out, then you’ll go to California.”

“So, you’re not going to let me see Andre either way.” TK fills in.

“You’re grounded,” his dad says. “That only means no boyfriend the way it means no friends over. Once you’re at school, you can see him there. Seeing him more depends on how everything goes after that, but we’re not going to tell you that you can’t have a boyfriend. Son, you know we don’t care about your sexuality. I hope you knew that.”

TK nods. He did know that. He just wasn’t ready for it to be a _thing_ , and then he didn’t want to introduce Andre to his parents. His dad having to work helped make it easy.

“Can I text him once to tell him I’m okay, and I’m grounded?” TK asks. He’s not sure Andre will wait, but maybe it’ll make it more likely.

His dad looks at his mom. That means it’s up to her because his dad wants to say yes.

“You can have your phone back just to text him and one other friend if you want,” his mom says.

TK nods. He looks down at the papers and then back up at his dad. He really doesn’t want to have to ride horses.

“You’ll really take time off work?”

TK’s not sure what his dad’s expression means.

“I will. I already talked to the deputy fire chief. I’ll be off two full weeks. After that, I’ll only be at the station during the day while you’re at school for the two weeks after that. I have the time to take some leave.”

His dad hasn’t taken time off since before 9-11.

“I want to stay with dad.”

***

 **TK:** I’m going home tomorrow. After that I’m grounded until my parents decide I’m not. I’m not going to be back at school because I have to basically do this program that’s as intense as inpatient therapy next week. I’m staying with my dad. I’ll be back at school in two weeks and then I can tell you when I’m ungrounded at school. I’m okay though. My parents are only letting me send this one text to tell you I’m okay. If you reply, my dad will see it, so don’t say anything dirty. After today, I’ll probably just tell him to turn my phone off until he gives it back.  
**Andre:** That sucks. See you in two weeks I guess.

***

 **TK:** Tell everyone that I’m okay but I’m grounded indefinitely. My parents are letting me text you so no one thinks I died. I have to do outpatient rehab and then I’ll be back at school. Cock-block Andre for me? Okay, my dad is taking my phone away for now. Pray for me.  
**Natalya:** Ugh. Andre does not deserve you but okay. I will miss you!!!

***

TK doesn’t really have a room at his dad’s apartment. He had one at his dad’s first apartment right after the divorce. Then his dad moved when he got remarried, and TK had a room for the months _that_ lasted. His dad didn’t really have as much time to move after his second divorse, and maybe it was obvious that TK wasn’t going to be over very often, because now TK has this weird loft that’s supposed to be an office. It doesn’t even have a door that closes. Maybe that’s why his mom agreed to this. It’s not like he can get any privacy even if he can talk his dad into letting Andre come over.

The first day, his dad tries to talk to him, but TK’s too exhausted. He’s relieved that his dad lets it go. It probably helps that the shrink they talked to at the hospital said to give his body more time to recover.

***

TK doesn’t expect his dad to actually be home the entire time. He’s left TK alone for a couple hours at a time since TK was twelve. But this time, he’s actually home. He’s barely even on the phone. He makes TK breakfast and takes him to the rehab facility, and as far as TK can tell, he never even leaves while TK’s in therapy. At least he doesn’t make TK talk until he’s stuck in room with both of his parents for family therapy. Maybe it’s better. His parents aren’t supposed to give him a hard time about things when they’re in therapy.

“I’m not addicted,” TK says when they ask him what he wants to tell his parents first. “I messed up and I took too many pills _one time_. If I was addicted to anything I’d be going through withdrawal. Everyone knows that. You’re making way too big of a deal. I’m a teenager. I was curious. I tried some drugs a few times. I’m not a junkie.”

“Son, you almost died,” his dad says. “If someone hadn’t called 911…”

“It was bad. This one time was really bad. I know that. It won’t happen again.”

“The overdose won’t happen again or the drugs?” his mom asks.

TK’s not a fucking idiot.

“The drugs. I tried it. It was bad. I get it.”

“And your boyfriend will be fine with that?” his mom asks.

“I don’t know because I haven’t been able to ask him.” TK’s kind of glad he can say that. Not that he thinks Andre will make him do drugs. But Andre will just point out that he should pay more attention to what he’s doing, and TK won’t take anything serious.

Family therapy is a really long pointless hour. His parents bring up every time TK conveniently didn’t tell his mom that his dad was working. TK points out that his dad can’t just decide to be a dad out of nowhere and blame everything on TK. Then, TK has to convince his mom that yes, his dad really hasn’t been secretly going to work. TK never thought he’d want to go back school so badly. At least the therapist says his mom should try to stop calling him Tyler if that’s what he wants.

Then he goes home with his dad and his dad wants to cook dinner together instead of just ordering food again. TK points out that he doesn’t have a real room with a door and says that he’s going to take a shower so that he can jack off.

It’s a long two weeks. When it’s over, TK’s still not addicted to drugs. His mom at least agrees that he was just rebelling like a normal teenager even if she doesn’t think he won’t do it all over again. His dad has actually managed to cook two healthy meals, but TK maintains that one of them tasted like cardboard. They still won’t give his phone back, but at least TK will be able to see his friends again at school.

***

“Are you going to walk me all the way to class?” TK asks when his dad insists on taking the subway with him instead of letting him just go to school by himself. “Because I don’t think you’re allowed to go further than the front office without a pass and the time to walk me to class was when I was in first grade, not ninth.”

“I'll leave you at the front. And see you at the end of the day.”

“I’m very lucky I’m already popular,” TK grumbles.

“TK. This is what your mother and I agreed on.”

“Yeah, and now you’re dad of the year. I guess I should’ve almost died sooner.”

“TK,” his dad looks at him, but TK doesn’t want to hear him explain his responsibilities again. And he knows that his dad doing all this is the only reason he’s not in California being forced to ride horses when his dad can’t come get him and take him away when he’s scared.

“It’s fine,” TK says. “It’s stupid, but it’s whatever.”

***

Natalya jumps on him as soon as she sees him.

“Still no phone?”

“No. Apparently I don’t need it for emergencies because my dad is taking me to and from school like I’m five.”

“Seriously? Your dad? Is your mom going to do that when he works?”

TK doesn’t have time to explain everything because he sees Andre.

“Andre?” TK asks.

“He was fine as far as I know,” Natalya says. “He almost got you killed. He would’ve looked like such a shit if he cheated on you.”

Andre stops right in front of him.

“So if your parents know?” Andre asks.

“If my dad is still watching like a weirdo, he deserves to see you kiss me like you’re making up for two and half weeks.”

Andre laughs and pulls him in, kissing him right in front of the school. TK doesn’t care how cold it is because once they’re inside the teachers will give them shit about it and he doesn’t want to stop.

***

Every day after school, TK expects his dad to not waiting where he left TK in the morning. There’s bound to be some kind of emergency that keeps his dad at work and leaves TK to find his own way home. Every day he’s there, and TK can’t loiter with Andre or take the longer way home so that they have more time together. TK still only talks to his parents in family therapy and then it’s only because he has to talk in therapy if he doesn’t want to get in trouble.

“Is it going to be like this all weekend and next week, too, or can we actually enjoy spending some time together?” his dad asks him on Friday.

“You can go to work if you want,” TK says. “I’ll stay home. I won’t tell mom.”

It’s not even really a lie. He stayed at his dad’s apartment when he said he was. His dad just wasn’t there, and he didn’t know about it. Andre will come over if TK has the place to himself.

“We’re _not_ lying to your mother,” his dad says. “And I’m not going to work. Everything is covered. They don’t need me.”

TK wants to point out for the millionth time that he shouldn’t have needed to almost die to get his dad’s undivided attention. But he only has it one more week with his dad, and then he doesn’t know what’s going to happen. Maybe they’ll decide he needs to go to California anyway because his dad has to go back to work and they still think he can’t be trusted.

“If you’re actually going to stick with this weird healthy meals thing, you have to learn to make them taste better,” TK says.

***

“So, this kid you’re dating,” his dad says when they’re eating dinner. At least his dad only has a bar area for them to eat at, so TK doesn’t have to look at him. “You want to tell me about him?”

“I don’t know. What are you going to tell mom?” TK asks. It’s why TK has refused to talk about it in family therapy. He says if they don’t care that he’s gay, then they don’t need to talk about it. He didn’t tell them because he just didn’t feel like it. But maybe his dad knows that he didn’t tell his mom because he knows that once he tells her anything she’s going to want to know Andre’s GPA, what activities he’s in at school, and what his parents’ jobs are. None of those answers are going to be good enough for her.

“What I need to,” his dad says. “but not everything and I can warn you first. I’m sorry I didn’t give you space to tell me about him before. I guess I just thought that you would, but I didn’t give you the time.”

It’s the closest his dad’s ever come to apologizing for how much he’s gone.

“He’s not actually my first boyfriend,” TK says.

“Oh. Okay, then. You want to tell me about the others too then?”

TK laughs and nods because yeah, he _does_.

***

On Tuesday when the therapist asks if there’s anything that he wants to talk about specifically in family therapy, TK nods for the first time.

He can feel his mom’s impatience, but in her defense, she doesn’t need a prompt from the therapist to give him time. And he _needs_ the time to work up to the question he wants to ask his dad.

“Are things just going to go back to how they were eventually? With you not having time for me?” TK says to him.

It’s probably not fair to ask in front of his mom, but TK needs to. Because even if she drives him crazy, and she wanted to send him to California, he knows what to expect from her. He knows that she will be home when she says she will. He knows that she never forgot to pack his lunch when he was little, and she always makes sure he has money in his lunch account at school. He knows exactly what to expect from her.

He knows what he expects from his dad and want he _wants_ from his dad after the last month, and those things aren’t the same. So, he needs to ask this with his mom to back him up if it falls apart.

“I do have to start working full shifts again next week,” his dad says. “But I have a good crew right now. As long as Liz and Neema don’t have any major emergencies, I should be able to keep a schedule we know it advance. 24/48, and picking up any extra hours while you’re at school. I’ll keep my days with you unless there’s a serious emergency—like a hurricane or something when I really have to be there.”

TK nods. It’s not the same as living with him full time, but he _does_ also want to have a door to his room again, so that’s fine.

***

 **TK:** I messed up.  
**Dad:** Okay. How? Do I need to call 911 or do I just need to come home? I can come home. I’m not on a call. I’m just finishing up some papers but I can come home.  
**TK:** Come home?  
**Dad:** Okay. I’m on my way. You promise you’ll be okay until I get there?  
**TK:** I promise.

***

TK knows he ruined everything, but right now it hurts too much to care. His mom is probably going to make him come home even though he’s supposed to be at his dad’s all weekend. Maybe she’ll be happy that Andre broke up with him. She likes being right.

She’ll probably insist that she was right that he shouldn’t have been allowed to have Andre over at his dad’s apartment when his dad isn’t home. He knows she hates it. But he’s old enough to date, they don’t want him at Andre’s house, and they don’t want TK going out yet. It was only a few hours. His dad isn’t even leaving work more than an hour early.

His dad bursts into the apartment with a paramedic like he’s expecting to find TK dead on the floor. He demands to know what he took while the paramedic checks TK over. It’s a few minutes before he’s convinced that he doesn’t need to take TK to the hospital. But he pulls TK into his arms and holds him while he cries as soon as the paramedic has packed up her stuff and left.

“It’s okay. I’m here. It’s going to be okay. You’ll be okay,” his dad says, and TK almost believes him.

“Andre broke up with me,” TK tells him.

His dad doesn’t say he should’ve known even though TK knows that his dad never really liked Andre any more than his mom did. He just says he’s sorry and keeps holding TK close.

***

TK doesn’t have to go back to his mom’s apartment because his dad refuses to give him back. Legally, if TK wants to be with his dad, it’s his dad’s weekend with him, so she can’t say anything about it. Of course, his dad also says that she can come over if she needs to see TK really doesn’t need to go to the hospital, but to TK’s surprise, she doesn’t. He’s surprised to find that he’s kind of disappointed even though he doesn’t want her to come over and yell at him. He’s definitely grounded, and he’s probably going to lose his phone. But his dad lets him cuddle on the couch while he comes down from the drugs so TK doesn’t complain when he’s told to give up the pills he has and his dad says that he has to let them go through all his things in case he has more.

“I know I’m in trouble,” TK says.

“You are. I have to talk to your mom about it, but I think you can consider yourself grounded for at least the weekend and probably more.”

“But you’ll stay with me, right?”

“I’ll be right here.”

TK nods into his chest. Maybe it’s late for his dad to be there for him. Maybe his mom has every right to be mad that he’s not home with her. But his dad’s apartment is starting to feel more like home anyway. And maybe when his parents decide they have to go to therapy again, he’ll be able to convince them that he wasn’t really even that high. He just wanted his dad more than he wanted to not get caught.

***

“Your lease is up in a couple months, right?” TK asks his dad the first week of summer. TK’s always loved how much more time he gets with his dad in the summer. Even when his dad was canceling days, he also had more time off during the day than TK’s mom will ever have, so summers have always meant more time with his dad.

“It is,” his dad says with raised eyebrows.

“I get that you didn’t have a lot of notice to find this place,” TK says. “But I’m almost 16. It would be kind of nice if my room had a door.” TK thinks it’s fair. Yes, some of that has to do with how his dad lets him have guys over. But a lot of it is just that it’s weird to not have a door.

Thankfully, his dad nods.

“I will have to work a few extra shifts to cover moving, but I can probably make that happen.”


End file.
